21 Things I Wish I Knew Before Playing Warzone 2.0

Maybe there’s a god after all!

Stay in the air for a bit. It will give you time for…extracurricular activities

Not every fast-paced shooter gives you enough time for a toke or two (or a shot!) Take the time to get high while you’re high. Let the other squares down there kill each other so you can drop down in a wonderfully happy mood to just take their shit.

And on that note…

Just hide until the end and find a cheap way to kill the last person

God is dead. Do what you want.

Look. If I wanted a real competition, I’d play a sportsball. I’m certainly not looking to be competent in anything (and by the end of a match I’m far too high anyway).

I’m playing to avoid the gulag, not get kills. High kill counts are for losers and try-hards. If that upsets you, you can cry about it as I fly away in the chopper in the closing scene.

Be cheap. Revel in trash. Take pride in being a slacker; life’s too short to play things straight.